


Damage Control

by theyshotmyclown



Category: In The Flesh
Genre: Gen, implied Rickren, it's word vomit mostly, kieren centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-20
Updated: 2014-08-20
Packaged: 2018-02-13 23:40:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2169756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theyshotmyclown/pseuds/theyshotmyclown
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It feels like the wound from Rick's leaving, the wound he'd only just started to patch up, has been ripped open again and doused in salt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Damage Control

**Author's Note:**

> Kieren centric drabbles for each time he learns of Rick's death(s), written in between art homework because I'm a RESPONSIBLE STUDENT.

The first time he finds out, the world freezes around him.

There's an emptiness in his chest that settles just below his sternum and threatens to expand and blow apart his carefully constructed façade of calm; bubbling just under the surface is every scream he's bitten back, every curse he's stopped himself bringing down on the Macy house.

Someone touches his shoulder and he doesn't even acknowledge it, turning away from the kitchen and the news that spilled, weighed down, from his mother's lips. The stairs seem steeper than before.

“I'm so sorry, Kier.”

The words reach him eventually but don't really make sense. Somehow he's on the floor on the landing, shaky fingers knotting into his jumper, and he isn't sure when it started but he's crying now, making guttural sounds he hadn't thought himself capable of. Someone is next to him, pulling him in. Jem's arms are around his shoulders and he holds onto her like she's the only thing that's stopping the world spinning completely off its axis.

Because that's what this feels like, like the world has suddenly stopped moving in the way he knew and has decided to go the other way. He's tried so hard to be brave, to keep it together while Rick's been away, and for the most part it's worked; he's looked Bill Macy in the eye twice and held his gaze, daring him to say something. He's seen Rick's friends around the village and ignored their ducked heads and hurried glances. And now it's ruined. It feels like the wound from Rick's leaving, the wound he'd only just started to patch up, has been ripped open again and doused in salt.

“It's not fair, Jem.” He feels like a child and that makes the sobbing worse. “It's not fair.”

 

–

 

The second time he finds out, finds Rick empty and hollowed, the same old wound is prised open and anger swells in his throat. This time he holds himself together, just. This time he doesn't feel the pull to the easy way out. Instead, he balls his fists until tiny half moons bloom on his palm, and feels the rage he locked away all those years ago curl in his stomach. His ears ring with static.

The walk to the Macy's house is fuelled by fire.

**Author's Note:**

> I like dramatic metaphor, sue me.


End file.
